used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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