I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
