i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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