Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Someone shattered a urinal.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
