i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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