If i come over, it means nothing
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
