Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you win again, gameday.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
