I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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