my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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