Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
