You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
