yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
