I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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