you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
