I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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