so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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