If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
