that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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