Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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