oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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