That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
