we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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