Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
