Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
