Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
