Who wears a wallet chain?!
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
