Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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