Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
