I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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