I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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