Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Small penises have feelings too.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
