i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
