Are we in a gay sports bar?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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