he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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