She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
North Korea, Best Korea!
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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