like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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