i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Randomize
