Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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