So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
