You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
