Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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