I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Oh god it's open bar.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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