I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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