Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
