I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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