i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I haven't been this sober since birth.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
