part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
bring money and cleavage
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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