he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
