I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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