mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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