Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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