I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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